Draco's Lip Gloss is Poppin!
by BandGeeK24
Summary: Well i think the title says it all...it's a crack fic so i hope you like it.


"Umm…Draco what are you doing?" Crabbe asked hesitantly.

"Nothin'…"

"Is that lip gloss?" Pansy asked moving in closer to get a better look.

"…maybe…"

"What?!" Crabbe and Goyle said at the same time.

"Well…I just feel like I don't fit in…and Snape said this might help!" he smiled.

"He must have slipped Draco a potion in that…" Pansy whispered to Crabbe and Goyle.

"Draco why would you need to fit in? We have been your friends since you came to Hogwarts!" Goyle said.

"I know I fit in with you! It's just…huh…how can I put it? Well I've just been down in the dumps lately…" Draco lets his head fall.

"What the hell are you talking about you have like the best family ever and you are awesome! I would hope you didn't need lip gloss to prove that…" Pansy said.

"Oh yeah? What you know bout me, what cha, what cha know bout me?! What you kno bout me what cha, what cha know?!" he starts to dance

"I said my lip gloss is cool, my lip gloss be poppin  
I'm standing at my locker, and all the boys keep stoppin" 

"Boys?!?!…" Crabbe and Goyle look at each other.

"what you kno bout me, what cha, what cha know bout me?! What you kno bout me, what cha, what cha know?!" 

"I said my lip gloss is poppin, my lip gloss is cool  
all da boys keep jockin, they chase me after school"

"BOYS???" Pansy yelled.

"mac,mac loreal, yep cuz I'm worth it"

"What's a loreal?" Crabbe said turning to Goyle.

"o the way I put it on so perfect  
wipe, the corners of my mouth so I work it  
when I walk down the hallway, they can't say nothin"

"Oh they'll say something alright…" Pansy scowled at Draco. 

"o o o my lips so luscious  
the way I spice it up with the mac Mac brushes"

"What's a mac?" Goyle asked.

"Maybe a muggle thing?" Crabbe responded.

"In Draco's hands? You've got to be kidding me…" Pansy replied.

"Loreal got them want watermelon crushes  
that's probably the reason all these boys got crushes" 

"Oh my god Draco! Please tell me you aren't gay!!" Pansy half yelled. By this time Draco had danced his way into the great hall and Harry, Ron, and Hermione were gaping at what they saw.

"What you know bout me, what cha, what cha know bout me?! What you know bout me what cha, what cha know?!" Draco danced up to Harry.

"I said my lip gloss is cool, my lip gloss be poppin  
I'm standing at my locker, and all the boys keep stoppin!" 

"What the-?"

"Bloody hell! What's with him?" Ron said hiding behind Hermione.

"Oh my god…" Hermione couldn't say anything else.

"What you kno bout me, what cha, what cha know bout me?! What you know bout what cha, what cha know?!" Draco jumped on one of the tables.

"I said my lip gloss is poppin, my lip gloss is cool  
all da boys keep jockin, they chase me after school!" 

"Hey…what's going on with him?" Hermione said to Pansy who looked like she was fixing to faint.

"I wish I knew…"

"When it's time for lunch, my lips still rock  
lil mama melon with the hot pink top  
cherry, vanilla, flavors is a virtue  
they lovin lip gloss universal"

"Lip gloss universal? Umm…I think we missed something…" Ron said to Harry and Harry just continued to stare. eye twitches

"The boys really like it, the girls don't speak!"

"Well dead people can't talk can they Malfoy?" Harry said glaring at Draco who continued to "Pop, lock, and Drop it…"

"What do you mean by that Harry?" Ron asked

"I mean that he'll shock them all to death…by the looks of Pansy, Hermione, Crabbe, and Goyle…he already has." Harry pointed to the four of them passed out on the floor.

"They, Rollin they eyes, they lip gloss cheap!"

"FYI! We don't wear lip gloss!" Harry screamed.

"It ain't my fault, but I can upgrade you  
show you how to use nice things with nice flavors!"

"No thank you…" Harry and Ron said in unison. 

"What you know bout me, what cha, what cha know bout me?! What you know bout me what cha, what cha know?!"

"Apparently not very much…" Ron looked as if he was going to throw up.

"I said my lip gloss is cool, my lip gloss be poppin  
I'm standing at my locker, and all the boys keep stoppin"

"Yeah yeah…we heard you the first 20 times…" Harry complained

"What you know bout me, what cha, what cha know bout me?! What you know bout me what cha, what cha know?!

"I said my lip gloss is poppin, my lip gloss is cool  
all da boys keep jockin, they chase me after school"

"cuz my lip gloss is poppin"

"What's Popping?" Prof. McGonagall said as she strolled into the great hall to see what the commotion was about. 

"Is Poppin!" Draco ignored her and jumped off the table to go to Harry and Ron. "Is poppin!"

"Draco why are you dancing…and in that…um…strange way?"

"Cuz my lip gloss is poppin!"

"your lip gloss?" McGonagall said.

"Is poppin" Draco put his arms around Harry and Ron's shoulders and they looked very uncomfortable. "Is poppin, Is poppin!"

"Is POPPIN!" Harry, Draco, and Ron said all together.

"Dancin in the Great Hall, thought I was in trouble  
BING! Called me on the loud speaker, on the double  
I stepped in the office like yes Prof. McGonagall?"  
shes like "Malfoy ran out of my lip gloss and...  
Write down where you get yours from  
cuz I must admit that bubble gum, is poppin!"

"Is poppin?" he asked

"Is poppin!" she confirmed.

"She ain't frontin!" he said jumping up to run back to Harry and Ron who were trying to revive Hermione in the Great Hall.

"and uh...I be lovin it, I be, I be lovin it  
and uh...I be usin it, I be, I be usin it"

"Oh god he's back…quick Ron just pick her up and we can make a run for it!" Harry said to his best friend. Ron nodded.

"and uh...I be rubbin it, I be, I be rubbin it"

"What the hell is he rubbing?" Harry said with a disgusting look on his face.

"on my lips, my lips uh...my lip gloss"

"Oh…good." Ron looked relieved.

"what you know bout me, what cha, what cha know bout me?! What you know bout me what cha, what cha know?!" He sang as he made his way down to Snape's dungeon.

"huh…he's finally gone." Harry and Ron sighed.

"I said my lip gloss is cool, my lip gloss be poppin  
I'm standing at my locker, and all the boys keep stoppin"

"what you know bout me, what cha, what cha know bout me?! What you know bout me what cha, what cha know?!"

"A lot more than you know Mr. Malfoy…" Snape said when he entered. He didn't even look up from the paper he was grading.

"I said my lip gloss is poppin, my lip gloss is cool  
all da boys keep jockin, they chase me after school"

"What does Jockin mean?" Snape looked at his student.

"I don't know…wow that lip gloss really worked! I made lots of new friends!" Draco sat in front of Snape at his desk.

"Did you? Are you all buddy buddy with Mr. Potter now?" Snape raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah we're tight!" Draco punched the air. Snape sighed.

back with Harry

"Hey Ron?" Harry asked

"Yeah?"

"You think Malfoy's really gone gay?"

"…goes pale I really hope not…" Ron said going back over to Hermione with a glass of water and a little fan.


End file.
